September: Halloween prep month

October: Halloween month

November: Christmas prep month and post halloween depression month

December: Christmas month

Every other month: sad time

me: what are taxes and how do I pay them?

school system: worry not

school system: mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

actionables:

Me: mom, dad, this is my girlfriend Eve

Mom: the fuck I thought you had a boyfriend

Dad: the Bible said Adam and Eve, not gay is okay

Me: wait for my surprise

Mom: another one

Dad: what surprise

*a guy walks in*

Me: this is my boyfriend Adam

Parents:

Me: do you get it, Adam and Eve hahaha, Adam and Eve

Parents: no

Me: but the Bible said

(via livinginthevalley)